|A Recipe For Communicating|
|Step 1||Ingredients: Start with one brief description of the situation that concerns you.
Preparation: “This is how I see the situation.”
|Step 2||Ingredients: Add a clear statement of how you feel because of the situation, without blaming anyone.
Preparation: “This is how I feel.”
|Step 3||Ingredients: Combine with a request for the response or action that you want from the other person.
Preparation: “I’m asking for your help in changing the situation.”
|Step 4||Ingredients: Allow time for comprehension and questions.
Preparation: “I want you to understand what I’ve said.”
|Step 5||Ingredients: Finish with patience, concern and willingness to solve problems.
Preparation: “Let’s sit down and resolve the situation in a way that helps both of us.”
|Tip||Serve it with a smile, and call it a win-win conflict resolution.|
Being assertive is not the same as being aggressive. Aggressiveness is often overwhelming and insensitive to the feelings of other people. Good communication is not aggressive. It is the most effective way to share ideals and feelings with others and to get the results that you want. Most people are willing to work with you in making a situation better. Take personal responsibility for what you think, feel and need. If it’s really hard for you to be assertive, try one of the many classes available to help you learn assertive, not aggressive, behavior.
Tell the truth
According to Pharmacy Canada, it’s always less stressful to deal with the truth and do what you know to be right than to try to remember the latest fibs and fabrications.
Resolve conflicts and don’t hold a grudge
Sit down and solve problems when they arise. Once the problem is solved, forgive and forget and start over again. (This sounds a lot like the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”)
Listen to what others have to say
There’s usually more than one reasonable point of view in any situation. Being a good listener also lets you absorb new information. There’s an old saying, “You never learn anything with your mouth open.” Listening to opposing ideas doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. You can still make your own decision, but now you’ll have a little more information to work with.